Why do other people’s words hurt us?

Correspondence on a dating site: — Hello, I’m Pavel, you are very beautiful. — Hello, Olga, nice to meet you. — I really liked your photos, you are an interesting girl. What are you doing now? — Waiting for my son from training. — Oh, so you’re a divorcee with a trailer, bye! Olga turns off the phone and spends the rest of the day trying her best to overcome her resentment and contempt. “Why is he doing this to me? After all, he has no idea what kind of person I am! How disgusting. Only freaks around! Who is it? The goat is irresponsible! Yes, if you put me on a par with other women, I will be better than many!” Olga recalls that her ex-husband and his friends often said at get-togethers to her divorced friends that they were second-class, which no normal man needed. “They will put on their best rags, buy cars on credit, open fashionable businesses and try to jump into the last car”… In the evening, Olga deletes her profile from the site and closes herself from communication. What happened? Olga fell into a trap into which a huge number of people fall every day. Each of us has our own content. What does it include? — level of development, — depth of thinking, — inferiority complex, — experience and trauma, — patterns and scenarios, — values and their criteria, — identity and roles, — idea of oneself, the world and other people, — perception and interpretation of reality, — defense mechanisms and fears, — degree of awareness, — boundaries and responsibility. Even among loved ones, the content may differ significantly, and this is absolutely normal. People share their own…