What do we look for in a relationship? Part I

What do we look for in a relationship? Part I


Our needs are either conscious or unconscious.

I will not tire of repeating that the unconscious part — the unconscious — will always be the leading one.


So, it seems to a person that he is looking for a partner for a sincere, warm, trusting, open relationship. As my practice shows, this is also very important to clarify. Because often women (while I mostly work with them) do not combine what they want with reality very well and clearly.


Therefore, clarifying what a woman wants in a relationship is extremely important.


And this is also a discovery for her, when the point — “spends a lot of time with the family” in her requirement-expectation — does not correspond to the picture of a “successful man” (whom she, of course, sees nearby), 90% of whose success is his business, business.

And time for family, at best, only 1–2% remains, since the free 10% is divided between friends, hobbies and, indeed, relaxation. Family, I note, is not considered a vacation. Forgive me, women.


And so, when we still manage to separate the wheat from the chaff, and we get to the analysis of previous, failed relationships (and as a rule, the search for a partner begins in a situation not “to”, but “from”, that is, when the need has become “ suffering”), then it turns out that a lot of things did not work out because the person does not realize what exactly he is SEEKING in a relationship and REPRODUCING.


In fact, the inconsistency occurs between 3 structures: the desired (which usually focuses…