Run with me or from me. Codependency. Counterdependence

Run with me or from me.

Dependency is a state of a person in which he does not want to function within the framework of his interests, preferring, for certain reasons, to sacrifice them.

Dependence can be conditionally human and material. Let’s talk about the first one. Codependency is a person’s desire to merge with a partner, to become one. Why does this worsen the quality of life: sooner or later, attacks of jealousy, manipulation and abandonment of your desires in general will begin due to the fear of abandonment.

The classic model-partner has done so much for me, how can I want something other than what he wants?/ Does my partner understand me so well, what will I do without him?/ My whole life will collapse if my partner leaves./

Why is this so? Attachment trauma up to a year. The mother did not care for the child; he did not feel safe. Reasons: it just happened that way. It is a fact. Without justifying or blaming the mother.

Counterdependence is a desperate desire for closeness with a partner, but it is covered by fear of such strength that a defense is built through loneliness and rejection of any attempts to build deep contact: from aggression to escape.

The classic model is if I trust my partner, he will betray me./it’s better to be alone, you can’t trust anyone/if I have a partner, he will absorb me, and I will become dependent on him.

Why is that? Attachment trauma from one to three years occurs when the mother refuses to give freedom to the child: overprotection and total control.

Contra in the…