Merging with yourself

In this article I want to continue the topic of merging and take a closer look at one of the two types of this mechanism of protection or interruption of contact — merging with one’s feelings, sensations, experiences, thoughts (the second type of merging is merging with another person). Such a merger, in my opinion, is more difficult to notice, and it also complicates life most of all if it begins to be maladaptive in nature. That’s why I’ll start with it.

Of course, fusion, like any other defense mechanism, can be healthy, adaptive, in nature, with the help of which we adapt to the environment.

We are surrounded by tons of different stimuli, and if we react to absolutely every figure that stands out from the background, then in a couple of seconds we will simply fall exhausted. And fusion, as a defense mechanism, comes to our aid — we are fused with the language we speak, with breathing, with everyday routine actions (for example, driving a car or pouring a cup of coffee. By the way, have you noticed how difficult it is to do anything on someone else’s computer, even though it is exactly the same as yours?).

We merge with our feelings — we may, for example, not notice the irritation that arises in response to rudeness somewhere in transport, because it is often not worth spending resources and time on distinguishing it from the background. We merge with joyful feelings when we go on vacation — starting immediately, closing the office door, relaxing to the fullest.