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How to keep your self-esteem normal if you have suffered defeat and failure?

betulkondukaya
2 min readJul 23, 2024

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If you have experienced disappointment or failure in life. First of all, you need to try to give up self-flagellation and masochism towards yourself and shift the focus to gratitude to the world for the experience gained). At least take the first step in this direction.

I won’t say hackneyed phrases like “He who doesn’t make mistakes is the one who doesn’t do anything” and “That everyone has failures”), but I will say that for me, every failure or mistake, if conscious, brings me closer to the result.

How much we consider ourselves losers or successes is largely influenced by “background self-esteem.”

Background self-esteem is that assessment of oneself that is formed from childhood; it is strengthened based on the “parental messages” of our loved ones and relatives.

In addition to history, “background self-esteem” is also influenced by events and actions occurring in our current lives. Roughly speaking, the more successful results and achievements I have, the higher my self-esteem; the more failures, failures and defeats I have, the lower my self-esteem.

But there is also such an important point that our subjective assessment of ourselves as a success or failure in the present is based on the background one.

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betulkondukaya
betulkondukaya

Written by betulkondukaya

Keep your self-talk positive and loving, because thought comes before words.

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