Guilt and pain: what victims of early sexual trauma feel

Pain and guilt.

At the same time — pain and guilt. An adult woman, who was repeatedly raped by a family member at the age of 5, says through tears: “Maybe I somehow provoked him? Maybe I did something like that?” You? Five year old? Is it your fault that a healthy, sane man, your relative, raped you??

One grandfather, who stroked his 10-year-old granddaughter in a very special way, “calmed” her shocked: “Don’t be afraid, don’t be afraid! At this age they call us “gladiators” because we can only stroke.” Alas for this girl, not only ironing. And she today, grown up and very intelligent, nevertheless asks: “Maybe there was something in me or in my behavior that he treated me in such a special way?” Grandfather? In a “special” way? Because of your behavior??

A middle-aged man recalls how, at the age of 7, he was raped several times by older teenagers who perceived the world in a very specific way, or more precisely, who had adopted a camp-like view of it. “I wanted to be with them, to be just as cool, I was drawn to them. Somewhere I gave in, I messed up somehow, that’s probably why they let me down.” Healthy, sane foreheads? Perfectly aware of what they were doing?

Victims of early sexual abuse often exhibit this kind of self-blaming bias, especially when the abuse came from a close family member, which happens much more often than we hear about it…