Feeling skill

Today, attachment theory is very popular in the psychology of parent-child relationships and, of course, it is also close to me. I not only read books, but also study. And so, in one of the classes, the question of a cold mother was raised, sometimes they call her dead. This means that the mother does not respond to the child’s call and ignores his need for tender feelings, for example, just to be held in his arms. The idea is this: the child is fed, dressed — that’s enough. Sometimes these needs are also ignored 😔

Like most of my colleagues, I pass all the information through myself, through my experience. I got nervous and went to see my friend, a wonderful mother of 4 children, whom I sincerely admire. Ask what kind of mother I am, am I not cold, am I supportive enough? And thank God, I received a dose of positivity about the fact that I constantly play with Evushka, talk, tell stories, that she giggles, and in general, everything is fine 🤗

It’s interesting that my mother was cold emotionally, which is why I was worried. For example, if I came up to kiss her, my mother would say: “Ugh, what kind of calf tenderness” and pull away.

I have a brother, we are 12 years apart, and I saw how my mother took care of him, and I helped, and also asked about how my mother took care of me in infancy. There were answers, for example, if a child is dressed and fed, but continues to cry, he is left alone in the room: “If he yells, he will calm down!”