A good enough father. 4 points

How little is said about such an important role of the father in human development. I’m rectifying the situation.

The tasks of being a good enough father.

1. Mother duplication. Serves as a mother figure when required. For example, she sits with the child when a woman is on vacation, or earns money for the family during maternity leave. This is the simplest paternal function.

2. Family support. It’s not about money! This means that a good enough father satisfies the woman’s emotional needs, allowing her to meet the emotional needs of the child. This is how protection from the outside world is realized to maintain mother-child unity.

Wilfred Bion, author of attachment theory, writes: “The mother holds the baby, and they are both held by the father.”

In this way, the father ensures the reliability of the initial attachment process. If a woman does not need to be distracted by her husband’s problems and finds support in him, then the child’s development is more harmonious, because the mother is focused on the child. This is especially true in the first year of a baby’s life.

3. Accompanying the child to the outside world , ensuring separation from the mother at later stages of development. The father is the force that pulls the baby out of symbiosis with the mother. First, it creates the opportunity to exist in symbiosis, and then promotes contact with the outside world. The father is a guide to the outside world; he shows the child…